Soul Survivor
by Sue Pokorny
Summary: Tag to 6.01. After everything that went down, how awkward would the return trip to Bobby's be? Just my thoughts on how it would be between the two hunters.


_**I liked the Season 6 premiere. This was a new Dean and a new Sam and I found myself intrigued by both. I think Dean made the only decision he could and Sam, well he made a decision that wasn't rightfully his. Of course I'm really mad at Bobby – he should've known better. I can only imagine how awkward the return trip to pick up Lisa and Ben would be…**_

**Soul Survivor**

Dean shifted nervously as he knocked on the door, not really sure what to say or feel about Bobby's actions in hiding Sam's resurrection. Sure, they both professed to have done it for Dean, because he deserved a chance at normal - at happiness. But, didn't they get it? Just because they decided that getting free of hunting, free of the life was their idea of happiness, that didn't necessarily make it his.

He'd tried... sort of. He'd gone through the motions and yeah, he'd had good times with Lisa and Ben - a lot more than he'd expected. They'd helped him, no questions asked. They hadn't expected anything from him and he couldn't remember the last time he'd experienced something like that. And now they were in danger because he had been selfish enough to stay. He had made the mistake of believing someone like him could have something like that.

Lisa was right. He was an idiot.

Maybe they did have something. Maybe it wasn't a sweep you off your feet, music crescendo love story, but they had become comfortable… something like a family.

And Sam had been right about one thing: he wanted a family. He'd always wanted a family.

But not just _a_ family.

His family.

How could they not get that?

Did they really believe he could live the rest of his life, knowing - or erroneously believing as it turned out - that his brother, the person he'd looked out for since he was four years old, was rotting in a cage with an evil unequaled anywhere else on earth? Really?

Who in their right mind would be okay with that? Who in the world could get past that and actually be 'happy'?

Sam had also been in his shoes. When Dean was in Hell, Sam had disappeared and hooked up with Ruby, gone down a path he knew – or should've known – would lead to no good end. Why in the world would he believe Dean would be any different? Why would he believe Dean could just move on?

His brother may have some kind of genius IQ, but he was a complete moron when it came to actually thinking things through. Look at his track record. Stanford... Ruby... demon blood... Lillith... This was just one more screwed up decision borne of good intentions. So yeah, he could maybe forgive Sam... maybe.

But Bobby?

Wasn't he the one who stood in front of him and yelled at him for giving up on Sam? For daring to not run after him and pull him back into the fold after a demon-blood infused Sam had beaten the crap out of him and disappeared with his little demon bitch? But somehow it was okay for Sam to ditch him?

Bobby knew better. He'd seen enough, hunted enough to know that what was learned can never be unlearned. Once a hunter, always a hunter. There was no getting out. There was no un-knowing all the things they'd seen and done. Monsters were still out there, they would always be out there. And just because he'd been forced to make a promise to get out of the game, it didn't give anyone the right to take him out.

That was his decision.

This was his decision.

He lifted his head as the door opened to see Lisa standing before him. The relief on her face made him grin as she jumped forward, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him hard.

"I didn't know if you were coming back," she whispered, her voice breaking as she buried her face in his shoulder.

"I know," he returned the embrace, inhaling the familiar scent of her shampoo. "I'm sorry."

She pushed back, her hands staying hooked on the sleeves of his jacket. "You should be," she scolded. "You scared the hell out of me."

Dean nodded and stepped into the house, his smile fading as he noted Bobby lurking in the doorway to the dining room. Taking a deep breath he turned his attention back to Lisa and forced a smile back onto his face. "How long will it take you to pack your stuff?"

Lisa's eyes widened in surprise. "Uh, not long."

Dean nodded. "Good. We have a long drive, so the sooner we get on the road..."

She turned her head slightly, her eyes questioning but never leaving his. "You're sure?"

Dean nodded again, this time a bit more firmly. "I'm sure. Let's go home."

The smile that broke on her face erased the doubts in his mind. "Give us five minutes." She turned and hurried up the stairs, leaving Dean shifting from one foot to the other trying to look everywhere but at the older man standing across the hall.

"You sure this is the best plan?"

Dean pursed his lips and leaned against the open doorway, mirroring Bobby's position. He shifted his head down, keeping his eyes trained on the floor. "I'm sure."

"Dean -"

"Bobby," he interrupted, his head finally coming up and his eyes meeting the older hunter's. "Let's just ... not." He took a deep breath and finally took a step inside the doorway. "A lot of people made a lot of decisions that weren't theirs to make," he said softly. "I can't change that. But what I can do is handle the fallout the best that I can." He motioned toward the top of the stairs. "You and Sam... you made decisions that affected not just me, but people I've come to care about. And now... now I have to make a choice. And it's really no choice at all. So let's just not pretend that things are going to work out fine, okay? I'm going to do what I have to. Sam made his choice. You all did. We all have to live with what's in front of us right now."

Bobby took a step forward, nodding sadly. "I guess you're right."

"Yeah," Dean agreed.

"I'm sorry, kid."

Dean nodded automatically, not sure what to say to his old friend.

"You'll keep in touch?" Bobby queried hopefully. "Call if you need… anything."

Dean blinked as he cleared his throat. "We'll be fine. I can protect them."

"I ain't doubting you."

They stood, an uncomfortable awkward silence filling the space between them until footsteps echoed down the stairway. Ben turned the corner, running to Dean and throwing himself at the man he had come to regard as a dad.

"Hey, buddy," Dean forced his voice into something resembling his normal bravado. "You ready to hit the road?"

"Yep!"

Lisa came down the stairs, her bag slung over her shoulder. Dean reached for it before turning his attention back to Ben. "Why don't you go toss your mom's bag into the truck? We'll be out in a second."

Ben eagerly grabbed the bag and waved goodbye to Bobby before ducking around Dean and racing down the porch steps. Lisa approached the older hunter and extended her hand. "Thank you," she smiled.

Bobby returned the smile and shook her hand awkwardly. "Anytime. I'm glad I could help."

As if sensing the tension between the two hunters, she nodded and with a glance up, stepped past Dean and followed her son out of the house.

Dean watched them go for a moment, the silence pressing down until he could take no more. He felt as if part of his soul was being ripped from him. But he knew where he belonged. It hadn't been his decision, but he couldn't change it now. And maybe, if he was completely honest with himself, he didn't really want to.

"Uh, thanks, Bobby. For looking out for them."

Bobby waved him off. "They're family."

Dean nodded slowly. He turned to leave, pausing for a moment, one hand on the handle of the door. "Take care of yourself," he said softly before stepping out and closing the door behind him.

The End


End file.
